TECH REVIEW

Never be overconfident !!!
Thursday, July 30, 2009

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was
receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead,
and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy
said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held
her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A
box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The
teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a
drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it
wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher
repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it
champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more
big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee,
the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 6:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

An Old Monkey Story With A New Ending
Thursday, July 16, 2009

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.
A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under
one of
the trees,
so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he
woke
up and realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and
they had
taken all his hats.
The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the
monkeys
were doing the same.
Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An
idea
came to his mind*
He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that
too. So
he finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller
and
had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.
One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It
was
very hot, and he took a nap under the
same tree and left the hats on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on
the
tree.
He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head and
the
monkeys followed.
He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys
followed.
Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, Sukhwinder threw his
hat on
the floor but to his surprise,
the monkeys still held on to all the hats.
Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor,
gave
him a slap and
Guess!!! Said what???
************ ****
************ *..
***********. .
*********..
********
*****..
****.
***
**.
*.
*
..
.
.
.
"You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 9:52 PM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

Super English

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name , Mr. Jeppier , Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges , always speaks in English. That college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"
.. Njoy .............with his.......... .....English. ......... .......
Now , here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's Spoken English"
# At the ground:
------------ -----
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her....{Means: girl with specs please come here).
# To a boy , angrily:
------------ ---------
I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
------------ --------- --
You , rotate the ground four times...
You , go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt this )
------------ --------- --
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt , U shirt , V shirt.. but if you want to wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus
# Sir at his best:
------------ ---
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance , he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre , though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet , boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ..
Once Sir had come late to a college function , by the time he reached , the function had begun , so he went to the dais , and said , sorry I am late , because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks , I the happy , tomorrow u get good job , jpr the happy , tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 9:48 PM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

Good One

Michael, Francis and Ubaldo are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter.

"Ok you, Michael, how many times did you cheat on your wife??"

"Let me be honest Peter. I've been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life".

"Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye."

St. Peter turns to Francis, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??"

Francis replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice."

St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here's the key. Get going!"

He then looks at Ubaldo, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??"

Ubaldo lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!"

St Peter replies, "Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that BMW Z4-M Roadster convertible. Goodbye!"

Michael and Francis have driven off and are in a car park nearby waiting for their friend.  Ubaldo turns up in his BMW but he is crying his heart out.

Michael asks, "Arrre! What's the matter with you? We should be crying. We're stuck with these cheaper models and you got an expensive BMW!"

Between sobs Ubaldo explains, "I just saw my wife driving a Nano!"

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 9:46 PM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Saturday, July 11, 2009

Hello,
You know I came back from office with a heavy heart, not that I had a bad news from any corner; just someone I know for many yeas closely and whom I love to see happy is not happy for past few years now. Every time I expect the bad time would pass off instead a fresh botheration sets in the life.
Opening the mail box reading this mail I know not where the sad feelings are gone, I am feeling a sort of peace never before; cause I always paid a patience hearing to that someone's woe and played God!

-Look at the portion I underline; I agree with it , do you?

Cupcakes and Rootbeer




There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with cupcakes, several cans of root beer and started on his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks, he saw an elderly woman. She was sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed the lady looked hungry so he offered her a cupcake. She gratefully accepted and smiled at him.
Her smile was so wonderful that he wanted to see it again, so he offered a root beer as well. Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling without saying a word.
As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and wanted to go home. He got up to leave but before he had gone no more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to the old woman, giving her a big hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.
When the boy arrived home his Mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked, "What has made you so happy today?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." Before his mother could respond he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile in the whole world!"
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face. He asked, "Mother, what has made you so happy today?" She replied, "I ate cupcakes in the park with God." And before her son could reply, she added, "You know, he is much younger than I expected."
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Take no one for granted and embrace all equally with joy!

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 9:38 PM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

budget 2009 live
Monday, July 06, 2009

Nautanki.tv is streaming the budget 2009 live in association with UTVi and Facebook. The live stream is scheduled for 2 days 5'th July (prelude) and 6 'th July (main event).The stream and the schedules would be available at budget.nautanki.tv .If you want an embed code for the live video player for your blog/website you can collect it from live.nautanki.tv .

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 6:44 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 11:58 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

***** Job Application - Resume and Employer's response: Be Careful *****
Thursday, July 02, 2009

Resimay
To hoom it mei kansern,
I waunt to aply for the job what I saw in the paper.
I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..
I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain women and all the menn.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can diskas wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wort,
I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopfuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
lotty

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:
Dear Lotty,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check.
Can you start on Monday?

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 11:34 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

A very "Touching" Moment

Year : 1975
Situation : Last day of school

Arjun Singh and Pargat Singh are very close friends. The whole school talked about their friendship. They had been friends right from their kindergarten days. They have studied together, roamed around together, sat together in school, ate together. They both wanted to become Police officials and serve the country.But today was a day they always dreaded. It was their last day together.

On their way back from School Arjun started talking
Arjun : Bro! I am moving to a different city to study. I will miss you man
Pargat: I will miss you too mate. But nothing can break our friendship. We will at least meet once every year.
Arjun: Yes that is a deal
and they parted with tears in their eyes...

As time went by, both got busy with their work life. They kept their promise for two years and after that they moved on with their own lives and in the process Arjun lost his contact with Pargat. Time went by and both became Police Officers.

Year: 2009

Venue: The Police station where Arjun works

Tring... Tring...

Arjun picks up the call and he gets a pleasant surprise...

"Is this Arjun?"

"Yes. Who is on the line?"

" Bro. Its Pargat! I just found out that you are posted in this station"

Tear drops welled up Arjun's eyes

Arjun: Where are you?

Pargat: I am standing outside the Police station. Come Out

Arjun: Is it? I am coming right away.

Arjun rushed out of the Police station and saw Pargat standing outside. They were seeing each other for the first time after thirty years. He wanted to go and hug his friend. But he could not hug his friend. It was a very touching moment for both of them :

SCROLL...

SCROLL...

SCROLL...

SCROLL...

Have you ever seen a touching moment like this?

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 11:32 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS

Diary of a Young Wife

Monday:

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home.

It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday:

We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them; I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:

 

I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. It sounded kind a silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:

Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.

It said, prepare ingredients and then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work; I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again it looked the same as when I left it.

 

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:

Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and its little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance.

When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "Why me?”

Hmmm....It must be his job.

Posted byAbhiroop Bhattacharyya at 11:27 AM 0 comments Links to this post    

Labels: OTHERS